Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate the faith in our more pleasing qualities and a compliment is always going to be welcome. However to be frankly honest with you all, the worst thing you can tell some who’s single is that you can’t believe they’re still single.
This is particularly true if they aren’t exactly thrilled to be single at that very moment. Should this person be at the stage where they are choosing to be a “lone wolf” then it really isn’t a problem. Obviously, for the time being, the life of a wandering nomad of love fits them.
On the other side of the spectrum, to someone who has been going on date-after-date, only to end with it going nowhere (except to bed alone), reminding them of their single status just isn’t productive.
Somewhere in the world is a fraternity of men, and woman, who gather together to ask the question, “How is it that I’m still single?”
And for the sake of this article, “Why do people keep reminding me of this?”
These questions result in the singleton to create a mental listing of all of their “marketable qualities” a potential partner could be looking for:
- I can cook (boil water)
- I’m clean (in the one corner of the apartment)
- I know how to tie my shoes (velcro)
- I have a job (this week)
- I’m not an ugly C.H.U.D. (yay, 80′s horror reference)
- I’ve never been convicted of a felony (I just can’t go back to Texas)
- My dog/cat loves me (when I feed him)
Being a 32-year-old single male, I’ve heard these remarks filled with good intentions a-many-of-times.
Recently a friend said, “I am still shocked nobody has scooped you up yet.” Considering the number of times I’ve heard this, (I swear from people other than my parents), the only appropriate response from me was, “Right!?”
Not long before that conversation this exchange occurred on Twitter with a friend I’ve known since high school, possibly middle school.
It wasn’t long before I turned to social media and asked the question, “What type of advice/comments annoy you the most about being single?”
Below are some of those responses and the relationship status (if known) of the individual dispensing said fortune cookie-like prose:
- “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about dating anymore.” – married
- “It’s tough out there.” – married
- “Be okay with alone time.” – single and bitter against women
- “Love yourself and then people love you.” – single
- “Get a hobby.” – unknown
- “I’ve been in your shoes. You’re just not ready yet.” – unknown
- “The universe will know when it’s right.” – in a relationship
- “Maybe your standards are too high/low.” – unknown
- “Stop looking, then you’ll find him/her.” – single/in a relationship/married
I’m reminded of a scene in the As Fast As She Can episode of How I Met Your Mother during Season Four(4). The character of Stella (Sarah Chalke) tells Ted (Josh Radnor) a story about how she once got out of a speeding ticket. Stopped on the side of the road, the officer walked up to the driver side window and said “Young lady, I’ve been waiting for you all day.” She replied with, “I’m sorry Officer, I got here as fast as I could.” Charmed by her comment he then gave her a warning. This is actually a very old joke that people have been telling for years.
Stella proceeded to tell Ted that no matter how frustrating it may be for him on this search for a wife, that the woman who he’s meant to spend the rest of his life with is simply trying to get there as fast as she can.
I won’t shovel a lot of the drivel mentioned above. The most I can say is that Stella’s story is something we, those of a single status, should remember.
Until that woman, or man, catches up to you; until you met the one you give a ring to, or accept one from…just listen to whatever words others give you knowing that their intentions are good, and their hearts are pure.
…plus you can always go get a beer after.
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